god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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