in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
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It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
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Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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