We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
