Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize