It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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