Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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