Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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