lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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