I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
