So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
