He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize