that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
