I wannas sexs uuuuu
My hand turned me down
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
