I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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