I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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