Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
