Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
