So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
