For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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