i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
dude. I can hear the air.
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