if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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