youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
