I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize