wakey wakey hands off snakey
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize