we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
