Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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