Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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