Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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