the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
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