Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
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In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
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hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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