i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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