i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
then he tried to convert me to islam
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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