Is it normal to miss your booty call?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
