its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
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