I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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