do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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