Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
