Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
