True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
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