Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
being pregnant is like rehab
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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