Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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