Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
