I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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