What did we do last night that was yellow?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
