I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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