Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize