i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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