i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
