oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
