he thought i was a dude.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
