There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
