both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize