Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
