I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
