I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
