Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
