You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
