Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
