i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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